Morality: (noun) conformity to the rules of right conduct; virtue in sexual matters; the quality of being in accord with standards of right or good conduct; a system of ideas of right and wrong conduct.
Conduct: (noun) a mode or standard of personal behavior especially as based on moral principles; personal behavior; way of acting; bearing or deportment.
Misperception: (noun) to understand or perceive incorrectly; a false perception; a mistaken belief, idea or interpretation about something.
Since the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia is still going strong, at least for the next three days, I thought it would be fitting to take this opportunity to celebrate the landmark vote yesterday that has ended the ban on openly gay young men in the Boy Scouts of America. While this is indeed a victory and was a clear vote for progress, it is still somewhat tempered by the organization’s refusal to allow gay men to be troop leaders, but even small steps will still lead to big changes, and this is proof of it.
Before the vote had been taken, or the outcome announced, at least, I’d run across this Article, which has caused quite a lot of pondering on my part since I read it. First, I’m sure that there will be a lot of reactionary parents, and boys, too, who will desert the Boy Scouts because of the decision to lift the ban. That’s a reaction that has precedence, after all. I mean, look how many states wanted to secede from the union after the last election, my own included, much to my chagrin. I’m not saying it’s rational, but it is the way of human behavior when we don’t get what we want. We run off, pout, lick our wounds, and then we carry on to whine and overreact another day.
But what led to all the introspection after reading this article had nothing to do with the potential reaction to the outcome of the vote and everything to do with how this argument, this decision to end discrimination and allow all young men to achieve everything they are capable of within the realms of this organization, to realize every possible potential on their way to manhood, how…does being gay ever come down to a question of morality where these young men are concerned?
I have to say that when I read the headline, and then the quoted text about how our nation lacks moral standards, and that the BSA should remain an organization that parents can rely upon to uphold a sense of moral conduct, I had to stop and read that particular line again because, A.) I wondered when the Boy Scouts had become the moral authority in this country, and B.) I couldn’t believe that there was someone out there who actually believes that being gay is a question of morality. I must have missed the memo that outlined being gay as a behavior, as if it’s a choice rather than a matter of biology. Stealing another scout’s popcorn sale money = immoral. Cheating to earn a merit badge = immoral. Lying to make another scout look bad and to make oneself look the hero = immoral. Being gay? Nooooo. See, there’s a difference there.
Does being heterosexual consequently make a person more moral by default? Is heterosexuality an automatic pass to a spotless virtue? I’m sorry, but just typing those questions made me laugh a little bit, in a completely sarcastic and condescending kind of way. I’m simply unclear on all the ways a gay teen is any more or less capable of virtue than his straight peer. This misperception that, first of all, there have been NO gay boys involved in scouting over the past century is at best Pollyannaish and at worst, head-buried-in-the-sand naïve. But then to hold this truth to be self-evident: that all gay scouts will issue forth and become predatory cruisers of Troop 000, would be laughable if it weren’t so terribly, frustratingly disheartening to know that there are people out there who do believe that, very much.
I’m not sure how you all feel about it, but I don’t see this as a question of morals, unless, of course, you count prejudice and discrimination and judgment as immoral. Then, yes, it very much is a question of morality.
I think people confuse morality with being an asshole.
Pay less attention to what other people are doing and pay more attention to how others need help. I figure that’s what we really should do. *nods*
Ugh! This is yet another case of someone promoting a moral code of conduct as outlined by their own religion. So, what do these troop leaders do about boys who are Buddhist or Musslim or Atheist or Wiccan or Pagan…? Whose codes of conduct do they abide by: the ones they’re learning from their own religions or their parents’ principles, or the ones their troop leaders are judging them by? :-/
I was thrilled by yesterday’s vote! ::cheers::
Actually, the Boy Scouts ban atheists from joining. I’m not entirely sure about other religions, though.
Well, Jordan, that just goes to show how much I know about the Boy Scouts. Nice to know they have no problems reaching out and discriminating equally. :-P
I think the most distressing part of that article for me was the troopleader that is worried about the gay scouts and the straight scouts sharing bathrooms and tents and the such. Do people still truly believe that being gay means having uncontrollable urges to have sex with every single male they encounter? As far as morals, come on people. There are gay people with no morals, there are straight people with no morals. BE REAL!!! This type of thinking is why I have not and will not give one red cent to the Boy Scouts. I mean YAY they said gay young men could join, but if a straight young man with a gay father joins, his father cannot attend overnight events with his son or sponsor a troop with his son. Does that sound moral to you? Could we please move this country into the 21st century?
Yep, Jackie, there is still very much that archaic mentality: Straight people grow up and fall in love. Gay people grow up and have sex. Until the obsession with the sexual part of homosexuality is overcome, there will always be those out there who believe it’s not possible for a man to fall in love with a man, or a woman to fall in love with a woman.
I’m just happy for the baby steps. I know it’s no consolation to the gay dads who would love to be troop leaders or chaperon a son’s camping trip, but there will be progress. :)
I am happy about the baby steps too, but I think of all the gay men I know that have children and then I think about them not being able to support their children in that way and it breaks my heart.
Well said Lisa.
‘Morality’ is thrown around when there are no substantial or logical reasons to allow or disallow things. They use that word to muddy the waters, because as you rightly said, what is moral about keeping a group of children that are already kept on the outskirts of society in a lot of ways from joining an organization meant to foster and help them grow ?
It’s BS plain and simple.
Oh, Mandy, truer words have never been spoken, my friend. I don’t disagree that there is a code of right and wrong behavior, and thank goodness there is or we’d all be a bunch of lying, cheating, stealing, murderous animals.
You’re so right, morality and sexual identity have nothing to do with each other, and, as Jackie said above, believing that bathrooms and tents are going to suddenly become an issue for these boys is clearly this man projecting his own ignorance rather than a well thought out and rational problem.
These questions tear your heart apart. =shakes head= Love one another.
That’s my motto, Patricia: live and let live, love and let love.
Terrific article, Lisa. Very heartfelt, intelligent and well, just written so damn well. I’m going to post on FB and Tweet this. Great work here!
Thank you, Paul. That means so much to me, coming from you. :)
Morals and morality seem to be the catch-all words people fall back on when they’re talking about this, or about marriage equality. Maybe that’s because they lack the courage to examine their hearts too closely. If they did that, then they’d be forced to admit that perhaps the word they’re really looking for is prejudice. It’s an ugly word, after all, and no one wants to think of him/herself as a bigot.