If you’ve been on Facebook at all today, you may have seen the latest in a long list of stories about folks who’ve fallen victim to a case of false identity. I’m not talking about the school teacher who rightfully uses a penname to write erotica, I’m talking about the woman who has created an elaborate ruse—has assumed a name, created the persona of a gay man, has used photos of a man (purportedly those belonging to a family friend) then passed them off as herself, and had recently entered into an online relationship with another author, which is apparently known as catfishing. It sucks that the internet keeps forcing us to make up new words to describe all the ways in which we can become victims of others’ sociopathy, doesn’t it? As it turns out, I really don’t like learning something new every day.
The author Emmett “E.S.” Skipper has allegedly perpetrated a fraud. “Emmett” is, in truth, a married woman with two children who has even gone so far as to create a false identity behind her penname—she is not Dylan Wilson either. I wouldn’t normally waste blog space on something like this, but, you see, I was indirectly taken in by this woman too. I didn’t have my heart broken by her. I didn’t befriend her believing her to be someone else entirely. I did, however, get suckered into her story about having just had brain surgery, of her recovery being slow and arduous, and of her friends gathering around her to support her and help her promote the new book, Whispers, that she wasn’t well enough to promote herself. I bought 5 copies of that book to give away to help “Emmett” build awareness for it as “he” convalesced, not out of a sense of obligation but because that’s what we do when someone in this community is hurting and in need of help. And I inadvertently dragged readers into this author’s scam as well, asking you to extend your best wishes to “him”. For that, I extend my most humble apologies.
As a short, white, straight woman with a bad dye job who has never claimed to be otherwise, I am livid that things like this happen. We women have entered into this genre of fiction as friends; to propagate change, to support equality, and to be good allies and supporters of the LGBT community. When one of us preys upon and takes advantage of any member of the community, it reflects poorly on all of us. We are visitors here who have been made welcome. We should treat that welcome accordingly.
I’m not posting this here for sympathy, nor am I’m posting it to remind everyone not to believe everything you see on the internet. What I am doing, however, is telling you to be aware that if you spend your money on this author’s books—which is every bit your right—do so with the knowledge that E.S. Skipper is as fictional as the books she writes, and she apparently has no qualms about spitting in the face of kindness. She, in fact, appears to take it for granted.
Lisa, I hate everything about this story…but really hate that someone took advantage of your generosity and kindness. You are one of the true highlights in this community.
Reblogged this on Books,Coffee & Captured Moments and commented:
:-(
I love how you put this. I agree completely. I am who I am and I couldn’t even fathom going to such lengths just to sell copies of a book. As a female writer it’s disheartening to seem someone making things harder for us to be accepted and shame on her for hurting so many innocent people
As has been mentioned above this story is repulsive and all involved should be ashamed of themselves, but I am so sorry your kindness has been taken advantage of Lisa. x
I’m horrified by what she did specifically to certain people within the community but also to the community as a whole. It’s beyond my understanding how someone could be that cruel.
I was lucky enough not to have gotten dragged into her lies. I can only hope that regardless of her abilities as a writer (of which I have no knowledge) that she slinks back into the slime from which she emerged and stays there for good.
I’ve often wondered why people go to such lengths to deceive others. Just think if she spent all that energy into doing something good for the LGBT community. I’m with you, Lisa. Good to keep in mind there are folks out there like this.
Very well said. So sorry that you and other kind-hearted people were taken advantage of. Hugs. ?
I don’t know this person or book, and I’m not on facebook, so this is the first time I’m hearing about any of this. This kind of behavior is despicable. This is the internet, so you can have anonymity for some very good reasons. However, to lie and defraud people like this is unconscionable. Thank you for the heads-up on an author I’ll not be buying. I’m sad for anyone who got hurt either in big or small ways.
Well said Lisa. It’s a disgusting story and you are not to blame for being kind hearted. Many were taken in to some extent by this person who obviously has no conscience or sense of decency. <3
Thanks for the information. I don’t do Facebook so I have to rely on word of mouth (and my reading groups) to get this kind of information. I’m truly sorry. :-(
Well said Lisa. You speak for so many of us. Women who are straight allies of the gay community and sometimes have to fight to be taken seriously. This woman has dealt us another black eye. And your dye job is excellent!
It’s such horrible behaviour. it would be one thing to present yourself as someone you’re not on the internet with an elaborate false persona. But to lure people into relationships they think are something entirely different from what they really are is blatant cruelty. The inventing fake illness for to garner attention and sympathy is one I’ve seen several times on the internet. (If not of the person themselves, their child or their pets.) That’s nasty stuff.
Reblogged this on Brina Brady's Blog and commented:
I am saddened by this person who took advantage of a loving gay male author. It’s one thing to use a male pen name, but to enter into an online relationship to gain financially is despicable. No wonder people use Skype.
I couldn’t have said it better sweetie. The only thing to remember is that the person that did this clearly has some major issues and we should thank whoever we believe in that we are not that way. Heartless and cruel. hugs and I agree with Tina I think your dye job is great! :D
“Bad dye job”?! Fie! You’re lovely, everything about you.
Man, times like this I’m kind of glad I spend most of my time in my cave. I think I find the “get others to feel sorry for me and sell my book” thing less reprehensible than the “start a false relationship” thing. That’s just… no words. Awful. It’s a shame that people’s kindnesses are used against them by despicable people. I’m sorry this hurt you and others.
Honestly, I barely have time for my own personality–the thought of making up a whole new one just makes me tired.
Guys, it’s classic symptoms of sociopathy: the lying, the lack of empathy, the manipulating for her personal gain, misrepresenting herself–not as a writer but as a gay man… There was no thought whatsoever behind the wrong of her actions. It was all about what she could get from others.
I’ve noticed since that all trace of Emmett and E.S. Skipper have disappeared from the internet, or, I should say, from social media, which means nothing because she can just as easily show up as someone else a few months from now, and none of us will be the wiser. The internet is the perfect place for these people to prey.
Considering she sold books on the basis of a lie, can she be charged with a crime?
I dunno, Hayden. I doubt at this point that anyone knows where to find this person. As Emmett, he lived in New Zealand. As her real identity, she could live on a soy bean farm in the middle of Indiana for all anyone knows. :-/
I sympathize with your feelings about this. The internet is a pretty open playground for those with not so good intentions. I did want to ask if you actually received a book and was it any good?
No, Pam, we never reviewed her, so I can’t speak to the quality of her work, only to the apparent lack of content to her character.
Lisa,
You did what most people did, they reached out to help. Nothing to be ashamed of there. She crafted this deception slowly and carefully reeling in people one at a time to help. You showed everyone what you summed up – a LOT of people in the genre are here to helpful support the LGBTQ community. Sometimes it’s in the broad global sense, other times it’s one person at a time. Shame on the exceptions who take advantage of the good will and double shame because it takes away from those who really need the help.
And having met you at GRL, I can vouch for the fact your dye job is pretty good, I had no idea it wasn’t your natural color. :D
The biggest hearts are also the most vulnerable. I’m so sorry this happened to genuine, kind and caring people. Lisa, big hugs to you. But stand tall knowing your heart is in the right place:)
I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you (just came from visiting Lovebytes blog and saw Danielle’s post over there). As Andrew said you have nothing to be ashamed about. You were unknowingly mislead and you were just trying to be a decent person by trying to get others to lend their support if they could. The person who should be ashamed is this horrible woman who deceived and hurt so many genuine good hearted people. Thank you for helping to get the word out so that new (and old) readers and those in the LGBT community can beware of the scam/ploy she is using and beware.
H.B., I love my Dani and hate that she was hurt by this too. :(
I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am you’ve been involved in this. It seems those this has impacted on is growing wider by the hour. To you, Lisa, and anyone here or on other social media who has been hurt by this – I hope your heart heals – and that you can move forward knowing you did nothing wrong but to extend the hand of caring and friendship. To the person who perpetuated such a series of lies and deceit – I don’t know how you sleep at night.
I honestly didn’t post this for sympathy, friends. I’m out a few dollars, it’s not a big deal, and it pales in comparison to what Max and K.C. suffered.
But, you know, the people I feel for most, where the fallout of this situation (and others like it) will be felt the most, is by the gay and trans* men in our community. This woman’s actions have done nothing but foster my skepticism. When we meet/befriend someone on social media who presents themselves as a man, will our initial reaction now be to doubt that man’s identity? Not because a person’s genitalia matters but because we will have become so cynical that we will be apt to erase the gay/trans man’s identity simply because we don’t want to be played yet again by someone who’s in this for whatever fulfillment and enjoyment they get from baiting people and lying to them.
I do NOT want or need full disclosure when I meet someone. I do happen to live a bit more publicly than some others have the luxury of doing. I use my real name on Facebook, and the photos I’ve posted of my family are not stock photographs, they are real. And, I don’t even care if you’re a man or a woman or asexual or demisexual, or any other variation of human sexuality. All I care about is that we are kind to each other. We are not here to be taken advantage of, simple as that.
Lisa – about a year or two ago, I’d have agreed with you that this might have a negative impact on trans* people in our community. I assume just about every trans* person reading about this kind of gender-bending catfishing winces inwardly. We tend to be called impostors, though it’s getting less frequent inside the community, as we’re evolving to accept different shades of the rainbow.
So, I think we largely trust that people understand that a catfish is a very different thing to somebody re-building their authentic identity. Obviously, I can’t talk for everybody here. There’s always the possibility that there are things happening that I’m not seeing. Some people are raising concerns over using pen names, but again, we as a community seem to understand now that there are legitimate reasons for pen names.
I might be jaded – I grew up on the internet in virtual worlds where the only thing you knew about a person was their screen name. I’ve roleplayed online with trans* people, virtual cross-dressers, mythological beings. Even though I met my long-term partner in one of those places, I tend to come from a place of benevolent, but skeptical awareness when dealing with people I don’t know (by “know”, I mean having had direct person-to-person interaction, be it on Skype, the phone, a convention or a face-to-face coffee meeting), and as I grow older, I get more jaded, especially if there’s money or any commercial interest involved. There are some sickos out there who feel that deception/fraud is just “marketing”.
I don’t know how to solve this – how a friendly, inclusive, generous community can inoculate itself against parasites like this.
Reblogged this on Illuminite Caliginosus- A Spark of Light Within the gloom and commented:
All this just to sell a few books…
Hi, Aleks, I’m so glad you weighed in on this, because my biggest fear is that we are all going to start looking askance at any and every new male author who shows up now, wondering if this person is really a woman with an agenda, whether that agenda is to sell more books by lying about being a man because she thinks it will gain her some legitimacy in the genre (something I feel we should be well beyond by now), or she has far less appealing goals–that she simply likes to prey on people.
The more I’ve read about how elaborate her ruse was, and how far reaching–she apparently had more than just the two identities on social media, something closer to a half dozen–the more I’m inclined to believe that she’s an anomaly with some serious antisocial disorder issues.
I don’t think there is a way to avoid these sorts of people. Sadly, the social media has just given them a vaster arena to play in.
Agreed. I’d stay skeptical of people who come online with sob stories that are uncorroborated. I remember one case where an author kept getting hit with tragedy – I assume a whole nation’s worth of their family died/committed suicide/was on drugs/needed medical care’had miscarriages, etc, and the author claimed quite a few of these personal tragedies and kept changing their background story to suit whoever they were talking to. Funny how those sob stories always hit a couple days before a book release… the person in question also made a pretty penny out of it.
Ah well. The internet enables us to FORM this community and talk to each other, but it also enables scammers and fraudsters. It’s the flip side. I wouldn’t hunt them down or force people through ID checks to flush out the bad apple, but I’d think twice (or five times) when the person in question uses a sob story or other manipulation to sell books or receive gifts/services. It’s the internet, writers essentially make shit up for a living, and it’s hard to identify and then track them down. We should be skeptical and keep a firm hold of our wallets if the person is a newcomer nobody has ever met. And even then you get scams.
I’m sorry that your and other people’s generosity and kindness was so ill used. You’re a generous, kind human being and I don’t like you suffering for it.
Lisa, I’m very sorry you and others were deceived and hurt by this crazy person!
I just read a post by Lily G. Blunt that gives some info on the backstory, and hope it is okay to share the link here for others like me who had no idea such evil existed in our community!
https://esskipper.wordpress.com/2015/01/06/e-s-skipper/#comments
Take care!