The life of a part-time writer and full-time mama
This blog post was originally going to be me answering a few different questions from readers, but then I got started answering one of them and realised it was a whole blog post by itself.
Lynne asked me: How do you fit your writing in with being a mum?
The short answer: it’s complicated.
The long answer: It’s really complicated. I’m now the proud parent of two. Daisy is ten and has Down’s Syndrome. She’s way more independent than I expected and can be very helpful at times, but she’s still much more work than your average ten year old. And Gabriel came along in December 2014, so I now have a fourteen month old toddler to contend with too. Gone are my days of writing at a leisurely pace while Daisy was at school. I have a little leg-hugger to contend with during those hours.
Einstein’s Peep Show is my first new book since going on maternity leave, and I’m amazed I ever got it finished. When it comes down to a clash between writing and looking after my kids, being a mum has to come first. This means I keep getting behind with what I’m meant to be doing, writing-wise. Writing, editing and even promotion take a huge amount of mental energy and concentration. They are not something I can do while Gabriel is playing on the floor—believe me, I’ve tried! It only results in him getting whingey and me getting frustrated. Or worse yet, it results in him going off and doing something he’s not meant to be doing, like finding the cupboard under the sink left unlatched and pouring laundry detergent all over the kitchen floor.
At least it got cleaned that week…
I’m also no good at working after the kids have gone to bed. That’s my time to hang out with Andy and knit in front of the telly (we’re currently working our way through The Mentalist)… and sob quietly into my gin and tonic about my now non-existent social life.
And as for that hour or so before Gabriel and Daisy wake up in the morning? I work out. Honestly. Much as I’d like to go back to bed and get more sleep, I need my exercise and I’ve discovered it’s really difficult to do a workout when Gabriel is awake. He keeps trying to hug me while I’m on my back, lifting weights, bless him!
So I’ve been confining most of my work time to when Daisy is at school and Gabriel naps, which is fortunately usually a solid couple of hours after lunch. But of course, this is also the time I want to put my feet up for a big of rest, or to catch up on some of the chores that are almost impossible when he’s awake. To be honest, I’m lucky if I manage to do an hour of work a day. I’ve come to rely on the Pomodoro Technique for getting in a couple of 25 minute bursts of intensely focused work. Yeah, I just love being a slave to my egg timer!
Of course, that’s an hour of work on a good day. Kids have this annoying way of throwing spanners in the works, like getting ill or waking up early. Or ensuring I’ve had so little sleep the night before I can’t concentrate on anything more demanding than reading the back of a cereal packet. Yeah, you’ve got to love the little blighters.
When I was pregnant I asked a couple of writers with young children how they managed. After all, I only started writing around the time Daisy went to school, so I was clueless. KJ Charles said something that has stuck in my head: “You lower your standards.” Yeah, I’ve lowered my standards over all kinds of things. Chores, for a start. For instance, right this minute I should really be at the supermarket stocking up on supplies, but instead I’m getting the blog post written because it’s due to be posted tomorrow. I’m sure I can throw together something edible out of the contents of my cupboards. Toothpaste makes a good sandwich filling, doesn’t it?!
So yeah, it’s a miracle I’ve managed to get anything written at all. Being an at-home mama really is a full-time job. I’m definitely a part-time writer these days, but I wouldn’t have it any other way :-)
Just let’s just not mention the state of my kitchen floor…
Readers, how do you juggle family and work? And just where exactly do chores fall in your list of priorities?
Blurb: Nerdy by day, naughty by night!
Nathan Wright has a secret life. During the day he’s a dedicated student, working hard for his maths degree. But times are tough, and in order to make ends meet by night he becomes “Einstein”, wooing punters with his online solo sex show. Still wounded by his last dysfunctional relationship, Nathan’s happy being single. But when his highest tipping client demands it, Einstein has to overcome his social awkwardness to rope in some extra help.
Party boy Rory Jones has never given his geeky neighbour a second glance, but he’s not one to turn down the offer of a free blow job, even when Nathan tells him it’s going online. Once on camera, Rory discovers his exhibitionist streak and the two of them are so hot together, the one-off becomes a regular gig.
But being neighbours with benefits isn’t without its challenges. Nathan’s client keeps wanting more, and he finds himself pushed into a role he’s not prepared for. Meanwhile Rory’s growing affection leaves him worried his ultra-rational lover won’t ever be able to share his emotions. If he and Nathan can’t find something more than great sex in common, they’ll be left with the square root of absolute zero.
Einstein’s Peep Show is now available from Amazon!
Author Bio: English through and through, Josephine Myles is addicted to tea and busy cultivating a reputation for eccentricity. She writes gay erotica and romance, but finds the erotica keeps cuddling up to the romance, and the romance keeps corrupting the erotica. Jo blames her rebellious muse but he never listens to her anyway, no matter how much she threatens him with a big stick. She’s beginning to suspect he enjoys it.
Jo publishes regularly with Samhain, and now has over ten novels and novellas under her belt. Her novel Stuff won the 2014 Rainbow Award for Best Bisexual Romance, and her novella Merry Gentlemen won the 2014 Rainbow Award for Best Gay Romantic Comedy. She has also been known to edit anthologies and self-publish on occasion, although she prefers to leave the “boring bits” of the ebook creation process to someone else. She loves to be busy, and is currently having fun trying to work out how she is going to fit in her love of writing, dressmaking and attending cabaret shows in fabulous clothing around the demands of a preteen with special needs and an energetic toddler.
Website and blog: http://josephinemyles.com/
Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/hrQ4s
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/josephine.myles.author
Twitter: @JosephineMyles
THE GIVEAWAY
Your answer to Josephine’s question (Readers, how do you juggle family and work? And just where exactly do chores fall in your list of priorities?) will enter you for the chance to win TWO e-titles of the winner’s choice from her backlist.
Comments must be received by 11:59pm Eastern Time on Tuesday, March 1, 2016. The winner will be selected on Wednesday, the 2nd, and notified by email for prize delivery.
Good luck!
The Fine Print:
*Entrants must be 18 years or older to qualify
*All comments must be relevant to the author’s prompt to be eligible (when applicable)
*The Novel Approach will not be held liable for prize delivery unless otherwise specified
*Void where prohibited by law
The Novel Approach Reviews 
Wow! I really admire working moms! I’m single and have a quite easy working schedule at my office(07:30 to 15:30), and sometimes I complain I have no time to do anything… but my family goes always first, if my parents need me I do not hesitate in asking for time off at the office, even at the cost of my salary. They will always the number one priority.
susanaperez7140(at)gmail(dot)com
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I’m lucky in that I work from home 4 days a week (but travel 6 hours round trip to my job one day). With 3 boys, being home has made life a heck of a lot easier. I can throw laundry in while working, or run to the school with forgotten homework without a problem. Fact is chores fall low on the list, anyway. I’d rather spend an hour playing “weeping angels vs dinosaurs” than dusting. :)
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I am fortunate that I work from home and work 4X10 work week. That helps a lot with family time. And for me chores are last on the list of priorities unless it is something that must be done (like paying the bills). I can so relate with your story about spilling the laundry soap. A lot of cleaning happens that way for me, too. Either someone spills/breaks something or the cat vomits. (One drawback to working from home is when you are on a meeting conference and people can hear your cat vomit because he purposely does it right next to you.)
And, thanks for sharing those adorable pix of our kids.
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My BFF is a single, working mom and I have no idea how she does it. I can barely keep up with things staying home with my little one at the moment. Things just get prioritized in what’s really important or critical and what can wait. Folding laundry tends to drop down the list a lot.
jczlapin@gmail.com
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I really enjoyed the post. I remember the days when my kids were young and I did the same thing. Looking back I can’t believe I was able to do that. I got worse as they got older and started playing sports. Then I added chauffeur to my “job title”.
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Thank you for sharing this post, i enjoyed it very much. I love the pictures of the children and i can relate to having a “special needs” child, my oldest son who is twelve was born premature and as a result of this has brain damage and is multipled disabled and that means he needs a lot of help with basically everything.
As for doing chores, they have to be done but my family and kids come first and the rest comes later ;)
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I don’t have children but I’m almost a full time nanny (part-timing only for about 25-30hrs/wk somewhere else) for my brother and sister-in-law. When the two of them are at work or need to go to some event. I watch their kids (ages 5,3, and 14 months), dress them if need be/change them, feed them, help them learn their alphabets, etc. Doing chores like cleaning kind of fall to the backdrop. If it’s really bad I’ll have two of them help me and give the third one pots and others toys to play with to distract them.
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When my kids were younger, I did it all but the chores unfortunately fell lower and lower on the list of importance. Unfortunately, my kids never took naps and were very active. I learned early that if they were quiet, they were finding mischief to get into. I got them into sports to burn off the energy but then I had to add chauffeur to my list of duties along with getting team snacks together for all the different teams since they were a few years apart they never played on the same team.
I don’t know how I did it. I guess we just have the capacity to do what needs to be done.
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Chores will always be there and so they are the last thing I do.
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Thanks for the post and the pictures of your adorable children! Not sure I juggle anything very well, and as for chores…that reminds me that it’s been a long time since I washed the floors.
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Wow! When I married I was a stay at home wife. Clean, cook, yard work I did it all. 9 years later daughter is born and the cleaning only intensified. Germ freak here. But after several years of scrubbing everything top to bottom even pulling the stove and refrigerator out once a week to scrub behind them I finally let it go. Probably had something to do with my kid being a slob and sports took up a lot of my time so I wasn’t home much. Now after 35 years of being in same house I kinda look at it and say I will get to it tomorrow!
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