Help us give a warm welcome to author Susan Mac Nicol, who’s dropped by to help us celebrate our 5th Blogiversary. Susan comes with tongue firmly planted in cheek! :-D And is also offering a great giveaway for which you can find details below.
Welcome, Susan!
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
Have you ever wondered how I recruit people to help me as PA’s? It’s a very intense and selective process, because I don’t just choose anyone. I’m a tough, hard task master, bossy as hell and with high expectations.
I mean who else is going to remove the green M and M’s from the bowl, supply me with tasty blokes to ogle and ensure my pet hedgehog is kept fed and watered? Not to mention *ahem* keeping my Facebook feed filled with picture of Benedict Cumberbatch and Adam Lambert. A woman has other needs too.
So, please read my advert below and see whether you have what it takes to work with a demanding bitch like me…
Attention potential PA’s! Before you commit yourself to a life of slavery and subservience, please read the following so you know what’s in store.
Please first click the link and play the video. This is a critical part of this operation. Failure to click the link will not be tolerated and will be subject to being whipped by a wet tea towel.
Then read the message inside the stale custard doughnut you have been provided with. This message must also be eaten after it has been read. Destruction of this missive is imperative lest it fall into the wrong hands and cause world-wide devastation.
Good morning Agent Grasshopper. This is Agent Man Porn here with the latest call to action. I think the sun is rising, but it’s still damned dark out there, isn’t it? Let’s get this interview started. You may have a drink later, not right now. I don’t need you having to sneak off to the loo.
The mission, should you choose to accept it, is to give your soul to Man Porn and dedicate some of your time, day or night, to assist Man Porn with her writerly and editorial duties. It appears that life is getting too hectic for her to cope currently and assistance is required. These duties will involve the following, but not limited to:
- Making Man Porn coffee as and when required
- Ensuring that she makes the events she’s promised to be at-online or otherwise- and giving her a friendly reminder that she’s supposed to be somewhere –NOW! Before panic ensues.
- Completing various worksheets- such Book trivia, and Release Dates (buy links) and keeping them up to date. Any errors and I will shoot you with a deadly weapon.
- Making Man Porn coffee as and when required. Perhaps with a biscuit.
- Finding blogs and events where Man Porn can show her wares. Not those ones, you dirty scoundrel. No one wants to see those.
- Collate information for bloggers when required- biography, profile picture, book covers, buy links, blurbs, social networking links. Ensuring my picture always shows my good side. Failure to represent me properly will result in a flogging.
- Making Man Porn coffee as and when required perhaps with a biscuit and a chocolate or two this time
- Sending tweets, creating Facebook posts, Google+ posts. Making sure posts are replicated across a variety of social networks each time. I NEED TO BE SEEN!!! Mwhahahah.
- Making sure posts on Facebook are replicated where necessary in the various book groups for best impact. Don’t spam them though. I don’t like Spam. It tastes funny.
- Sending requests to relevant book blog sites requesting reviews of Man Porn’s books. I mean, honestly. Who wouldn’t want to read these brilliant stories? Those who don’t wish to review- track them down and make sure they meet their doom. Provide photo evidence.
- Creating book trailers where requested. They must feature a myriad of half-naked men doing dirty things to each other.
- Making Man Porn coffee with a toasted sandwich of some description.
Ok so we’ve covered the most important things. And all that takes us to seven-thirty am of your typical day. We still have a lot of ground to cover plus some practical tasks – my so let’s continue as we mean to go on. Oh, stop your whining that you’re tired and have been up since the crack of dawn. I’ll feed you later, no fear. And yes, you may now have the drink of water I promised you an hour ago.
New from international bestselling author Susan Mac Nicol
SIGHT UNSEEN
Based on an idea from L.A. producer and actor, Nicholas Downs, Susan and Nicholas have developed a story straight from the heart.
In a gripping tale of lovers fighting against the odds
comes a story of universal appeal about rejection and acceptance
and finally finding what is real and true.
RELEASE DATE JANUARY 26th 2017
Sometimes We Don’t See Love Coming
A stolen weekend in the Florida Keys drove 17 year olds Nate and Cody to a deeper and hotter connection than either could imagine. They were meant to be together. Then for reasons only Nate knows, they weren’t.
Now best friends, the yearning remains, despite the long-ago secret that drove them apart. When tragedy strikes, they find themselves in the dark and must grope their way back to who and what they are…and what they are meant to be.
You can also add it to your Goodreads TBR
The Giveaway
a Rafflecopter giveaway
https://widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js
Great post so funny! I could never be a PA!
It just so happens I’m looking for another job. Not sure about my coffee making skill since I don’t drink the evil brew . . .
Great humorous post. I’ve never been a PA but I don’t think I’ll pass. I’ve never had to brew coffee before, lol.
Thanks so much for stopping by, glad you enjoyed the post !
Love
Sue