Welcome to author Vicktor Alexander and the Resist & Triumph charity anthology tour. Vicktor is sharing an excerpt from his contribution to the antho, Red. Enjoy!
About the Anthology
As 2017 opened, the United States took several steps back in the progress toward equality. In response, a group of authors has stepped up to offer positive stories of hope and love. In an effort to help fight and support those groups who are facing even greater challenges, we wrote these stories to offer a small amount of aid.
Stories of hope, resistance, and ultimately triumph fill the pages of this anthology.
All proceeds of the anthology go to The Trevor Project and GLAAD to help fight the effects of the dark times we’re facing.
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The Excerpt
Present Day, February 9th
Boston, Massachusetts
Marius Williams sighed as he rolled over, his hand reaching out for the large, warm body he knew without looking would be absent from the other side of the bed. Encountering cool sheets, he swallowed back a sob. It had been six months since he’d last seen Brant Nelms, the love of his life, and Marius was beginning to believe he’d made Brant up in the deepest recesses of his love-starved brain. If it were not for the numerous gifts of the past six years strewn around the room, the pictures that decorated the red walls, wooden dressers, granite countertops, and the backgrounds of Marius’s various electronic devices, he’d be hard-pressed to think he hadn’t conjured Brant up in a drunken stupor one evening.
This, if he were being completely honest with himself, wouldn’t be at all unlikely since he’d taken up a new hobby as of late: drinking alcohol in excess. It did not make him an attractive person at a bar, a party, or even in a restaurant. In fact, he became quite maudlin when he over imbibed. But for Marius it seemed as if the only way he could push Brant from his mind was to drown thoughts of the lovable, absent, bastard in about a gallon’s worth of premium alcohol.
Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Marius glared at the plethora of gifts that reminded him daily of his absent lover. Marius was sorely tempted to sweep them all—red teddy bears, an assorted rainbow of high-end clothing, fashionable shoes, paintings, ceramic and marble figurines, jewelry of every kind, electronics, cookware—all of it into a trash bag, take it out behind the townhouse, and burn it. He wanted to be rid of every single thing Brant had ever given him.
Marius’s girlfriends had prevented him from taking such an action on the dozens of occasions he’d attempted it in the past by telling him he was being overly dramatic or that he could very easily resale, auction, or trade the items for cash or something better. But they simply did not understand the conundrum that put him in. Marius didn’t want the items in his home. They caused a stabbing grief to pierce his heart every single time he looked at or used them. But neither did he want to know that someone, like his nosey, ostentatious, greedy neighbor down the street, was using them. Putting his grubby little hands on things Marius had once thought were bought with love—but now knew were merely given to ensure his silence, cooperation, and continued sexual compliance—turned his stomach.
There were times when Marius felt like he’d been nothing more than a high-priced whore. Waiting around for his lover to call him, to show up, to send some token of affection. He’d held onto each gift with hope in his heart, happy memories floating through his mind, and lust pounding in his groin as days or weeks went by. Then he would be left to crash-land upon the rocks of disappointment and reality after receiving a card containing a terse message letting him know that, once again, Brant just “couldn’t get away.”
Thus were the pitfalls of being involved with a married, closeted gay man who had an even bigger secret. Marius really should scoop up every gift, trinket, scrap of fabric, and give it all away. Everything.
The sound of scratching at the door gave Marius pause. Okay. Not everything. Marius couldn’t, in good conscience, return the black Newfoundland Brant had given him. Marius loved the large, gentle Spartacus, and had spent too much money on doggy training and boot camps to get rid of the lovable animal now.
Spartacus had been his companion when there had been no one else to cry to, no one else to pour out his tales of woe and agonizing loneliness to. Spartacus cuddled with him on the couch and in bed when all he’d wanted was Brant’s large, tan and muscled form pressed against his own, Brant’s heart beating beneath Marius’s cheek, Brant’s warm breath and gentle lips against his forehead. Gods above, Marius missed him. Missed him with every single fiber of his being. He yearned for him. Ached for him. Loved him. And yet he hated him.
What a contradictory character I am, he mused as a long-suffering sigh escaped his lips before he could contain it.
When Spartacus began to whine, Marius chuckled and flipped back the covers. He rose from bed, walked to the recliner in the corner of the room, and lifted his light-rose-colored robe from the arm of the chair. Pulling the garment on over his naked body, Marius cinched the belt around his too-thin waist, wincing at the amount of weight he’d lost. He opened the bedroom door and Spartacus bounded away.
His appetite had been all but nonexistent in the past few months. He’d gotten to the point where he choked food down—even smoothies, milkshakes, and the like just to get something in his belly. He’d told his best friends the weight loss was due to the stress of being a fashion designer, and the expectations of being in fashion, and being gay on top of that placed on him. He knew it wasn’t true. He couldn’t eat because he hadn’t spoken to or seen Brant in ages. He felt abandoned. Tossed aside. Rejected. And knowing what he did about Brant, the fact that Brant would risk it all just to shun him made the pain even greater. He couldn’t eat because eating was something you did when you wanted to live. When you needed the energy to keep going. And Marius just wasn’t sure he wanted to do either.
Cover Art: Jess Small
Publication Date: 1/26/2018
Genres: M/M Romance, Paranormal, Historical, Dystopian, Contemporary, BDSM, F/F Romance
Other stories included in the anthology:
Breaking Ties with the Bully by Perci T. Brooks
Consummation by Tucker McCallahan
Fighting the Alpha, the Omega Way by Carol Pedroso
Get Off of My Runway by Shane K. Morton
Leto of The Ionian Sea by Maria Siopsis
The Respect of Love by Mandi Ware
Small Victories by Helen Dupres
White Rabbit by Grace R. Duncan