The opening paragraphs of The River Leith came to me in a rush one afternoon, the voice so sure and confident, the words flowing through my brain like a river, and I hurried to get them down. Some characters and books are like that. They show up and they have a voice and a presence, they know what they want to tell you, and they spill their beans with such ease that it’s really just up to you to capture what they want to say. That’s how Leith was for the most part, and the book was a fairly easy one to write, in the scheme of books, anyway.
Let’s put it this way: it’s not always like this. With other books the characters sometimes show up but then they just stand in a shadowy corner toeing at the ground and refusing to meet your eye until you’ve wooed them into whispering their story to you in stunted paragraphs full of gaps and difficult silences. The wooing is a varied thing, too—sometimes it’s all about finding the right album that makes the character open up, other times it’s reading some piece of poetry that seems unrelated on the surface of things but somehow makes the character say, “Fine, I’ll fucking tell you, okay? Jesus, stop haranguing me with the goddamn poetry and listen to this.” Even then the stories can be punctuated with full-on refusals to reveal what happened next until you get it wrong a few times first. (Yes, I’m insane. I blame my mom for not breastfeeding me. KIDDING!)
Leith wasn’t like that. He was open and ready to spill it all. Zach, though, was another story. He didn’t want to talk about it. He was not interested in exploring his feelings and memories. So I originally wrote the story as a single point view book, written from Leith’s perspective. But a very early beta reader said, “Nope. I need to see Zach here.” I tried writing scenes from his perspective but he wasn’t interested in telling me a damn thing. He’d go all cold whenever I tried to get into his head. Somewhere I have the awful six paragraphs I pulled teeth to get. It’s not pretty.
Eventually, though, it became clear that what Zach was willing to do was vlog about his point of view. He was a vlogger after all and was used to confessing for a camera to a silent, faceless audience. It was through these vlog transcripts that I was able to get into Zach a little. He was, and still is, a deep well, too vulnerable for his own good, and unwilling to expose himself to people he can actually see. And, uh, I guess as the writer he could see me? I’m not sure. But the device of adding a vlog transcript allowed him to open up and really spill his messy guts. I’m not sure how readers will respond to the vlogs, but it was a risk I remain excited to have taken, and it was a rewarding challenge to craft them, too.
I honestly can’t say where the idea for a story about amnesia came from. I think it was perhaps stirred by a discussion I had with a friend about how you can never have two first times with your lover. I remember turning that idea over in my head and thinking about all the things I’d learned about amnesia during my college years and subsequent bouts of research on the topic due to andom curiosity. It wasn’t long after that Leith showed up with his commentary on memory, telling me his situation, and I went with that.
Here are the paragraphs that Leith came to me with, the opening paragraphs of the book. I hope speaks to you the same way he spoke to me:
Memory, as it turned out, was both everything and nothing. It had no substance, no form, no weight, and no color. It was described, in technical terms, as deposits of proteins within cells of the brain. However, these were words that at their heart were as mysterious and ultimately magical as any other metaphor used in an attempt to understand the concept: memory as a storehouse or set of books—a way to keep track of life’s checks and balances; or memory as meaning—a mode of life, and a way of being.
Leith knew now that all these metaphors and all these words boiled down to one thing: memory is the sum of us, the total, and if it is divided, then we are lost.
There were other people in the occupational therapy ward, and Leith studied them with a mixture of horror and envy. There was the droopy, sagging stroke victim Jan Troxell, who could tell anyone the weather report from that morning, but couldn’t remember anything else—not her daughter’s name, not her age, and not her favorite color.
There was David Mueller, for whom every day began as April 12, 2006, until he found out again, and again, and again that he had suffered a brain injury and couldn’t make any more memories.
In some ways these people repulsed Leith, leaving him breathless with terror and disgust at how close he’d come to joining their ranks. People who were shells of the beings they were before, empty and unable to give anything back to the world except for the memory that once they were more, and that they never would be again.
But in other equally scary ways, Leith watched these people with envy. They were free, utterly rudderless in a thrashing ocean, but still free. Their options had been removed from them, and they were at the mercy of the elements and the grace of people’s kindness. But they weren’t tied down to memories of who they were, of what and who they’d loved, the things they’d once dreamed, and the things they’d valued.
Leith was not free. He knew who he was, give or take the last three years of his life. It had been almost two weeks since he’d come out of the coma. The illegal blow to the back of his head during the New York Amateur Boxing Championship match had cost his opponent his career, but it had cost Leith a hell of a lot more than that.
All in all he had a lot more than the other amnesiacs he saw every day in the rehab hospital. His intelligence hadn’t been compromised, and while some of his motor skills were rough, the doctors told him there was no reason to believe he wouldn’t be able to live a completely normal life again. Of course they strongly advised against boxing. Multiple head injuries could be fatal. At least he’d come out of the last one with his life, his brains, and only a few missing years.
His last memory was learning that he would soon be released from prison. In his sparse, clean cell, he’d sat on a bunk and composed a letter to Arthur asking if it would be all right to start over in Brooklyn instead of going home to New Jersey and their father.
Leith had no memory of finishing that letter. No memory of a bus trip from the jail in Florida to Arthur’s apartment in Manhattan. No memory of meeting a girl named Naomi on the ski slopes of Vermont. No memory of his father’s death and no memory of mourning by his dad’s grave. Leith only knew of these things because he’d been told. And he still didn’t know how to believe them.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
While Leta Blake would love to tell you that writing transports her to worlds of magic and wonder and then safely returns her to a home of sparkling cleanliness and carefully folded laundry, the reality is a bit different. Instead, piles of laundry and forgotten appointments haunt her life, but the joy of writing and the thrill of finishing a book make the everyday chaos all worth it.
Leta’s educational and professional background is in psychology and finance, respectively, but her passion has always been in writing, and she most enjoys crafting romance stories that she would like to read. At her home in the Southern U.S., Leta works hard at achieving balance between her day job, her writing, and her family.
You can find out more about her by following her website, facebook, or twitter.
Blurb & Buy Links: Memory is everything.
After an injury in the ring, amateur boxer Leith Wenz wakes to discover his most recent memories are three years out of date. Unmoored and struggling to face his new reality, Leith must cope anew with painful revelations about his family. His brother is there to support him, but it’s the unfamiliar face of Zach, a man introduced as his best friend, that provides the calm he craves. Until Zach’s presence begins to stir up feelings Leith can’t explain.
For Zach, being forgotten by his lover is excruciating. He carefully hides the truth from Leith to protect them both from additional pain. His bottled-up turmoil finds release through vlogging, where he confesses his fears and grief to the faceless Internet. But after Leith begins to open up to him, Zach’s choices may come back to haunt him.
Ultimately, Leith must ask his heart the questions memory can no longer answer.
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The Giveaway: THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED
I can’t imagine loosing my memory or even be parts of it. Sounds like an emotional read. Thanks for the insight into this book and your inspiration.
Thank you, Jen! I’m happy you enjoyed the blog post. :D Best of luck on the drawing!
I want to win!
LOL! Good luck, Ale! :D
This sounds really engaging!
Thank you, Trix! Good luck on the drawing! :D
The book sounds really good please count me in……………..thank you
ShirleyAnn@speakman40.freeserve.co.uk
Thank you so much, Shirley Ann! Glad for your interest and good luck to you! :D
I’m looking forward to this book – already have it on my Amazon wishlist! Thanks for the giveaway.
Thanks, Renee! I’m thrilled by your enthusiasm! Good luck in the drawing!
Sounds great. Just added it to my TBR list. Thanks for the post and chance to win a copy.
jlf827 {at} icloud {dot} com
Good luck to you, Jenf27! I appreciate your interest!
The book look like a great read! Great review,Lisa!
Thanks for the interest! :D Good luck to you!
Looks great! Please count me in.
Thanks for the interest, Nancy! <3 Good luck to you!
I loved Training Season and have seen some great reviews already for this one.
debdeege (at) optonline (dot) net
Thank you, Debra! So happy you enjoyed Training Season! And good luck on this one! :D
The book sounds great.
rockybatt@gmail.com
Thanks, Rocky! Good luck!!
I really enjoyed Training Season – This one sounds intriguing – thanks for a shot at winning a copy. lgrant1@san.rr.com
I’m glad you enjoyed Training Season, Lisa! Thanks for your interest in this book! Good luck to you!!
I can’t wait to read this book!
Thank you, Stephanie! Makes me happy to read that!! :D
Love your writing…Rise up, heart….still one of the best things I’ve ever read. This one sounds great. Congrats on the new book.
Thank you so much, Kim! <3 Truly means a lot to hear this from you! I really want to do something more with that RUH idea one day and I very well might. Thank you so much for your interest in this book! Good luck to you!!
Would love to read this one! Thanks for the giveaway.
Thanks for the interest, Lisa! Good luck!! :D
I read Training Season and loved it. It was one of the best books I’ve read. Count me in for this, please :)
penumbrareads(at)gmail(dot)com
Gosh, Penumbra! Thank you so much for your enthusiasm about Training Season. <3 Means a lot to hear that! And good luck to you on winning The River Leith! :D
Sounds great! Thanks for the chance to win!
Thanks for your interesting, Antonia! And good luck!!
This sounds awesome. Please count me in. :-)
aelnova@aol.com
Thanks, Barbara! :D Good luck!!
This sounds like such an emotional and amazing read. Couldn’t imagine that happening to me. Thanks for the wonderful giveaway. Great post.
fsteph55(at)yahoo(dot)com
Thanks, fsteph55! I’m glad you enjoyed the post and I appreciate your interest in the book! :D Good luck to you!!
Interesting post. Thank you for sharing and for the giveaway!
Thanks, H.B.! :D Good luck on the drawing! I appreciate the interest!
I’m hooked! Would love this book!
Good luck, Jennifer! If you win, I hope you enjoy it! :D
I have this on my wish list. I love amnesia stories and I really loved Training Season so I’m looking forward to this book.
Thanks, Kim! :D I’m happy you enjoyed Training Season! And thank you for the interest! Good luck to you!
Oh WOW! I love the concept behind this book! Thank you for a chance to win a copy.
Thanks, Carly! Good luck to you on the drawing! :D
The angst sounds strong in this one. I can’t wait to read it!
It’s got angst that hurts so good! :P Thanks, Calila1988! Hope you enjoy and good luck!
What a terrifying prospect, I don’t want to imagine what that would be like although I’d love to read about it.
Thank you, Allison! :D Good luck with the drawing!!
I always like reading stories with amnesia as one of the main plot points. It can make for a very interesting story. Can’t wait to read yours.
Thanks, A.J.! I love the trope, too! Good luck with the drawing! :D
This sounds fantastic, Leta. Those first paragraphs definitely left me wanting the rest. Please count me in. Thanks!
This sounds really good, I like the amnesia twist. Thanks for the giveaway.
Can’t wait to read this!!! Thanks for the giveaway :)
Losing my memory would be so horrible! I really can’t wait to read this book. I know it’s going to be a good one. I also really enjoyed Training Season.
I love hearing about how authors “discover” their characters. Leith and Zach sound like they’re going to be quite the pair.
Good morning, everyone, and happy Saturday! Thanks to all of you for stopping by to enter Leta’s giveaway of The River Leith. The contest is now closed and the winner’s been selected. An e-copy of the book is headed your way
michelle rae
Congratulations to you, michelle! I’ve already emailed Leta with your contact information, so expect to hear from her soon. :)